Fatherlessnes Isn’t Fatal
Fatherlessness doesn’t have to seal a child’s fate forever. It’s possible to help a fatherless person to rewrite their future. That doesn’t mean fatherlessness isn’t the most important epidemic in society. It’s the source of most of the problems affecting youth in our society. For example, 70% of prison inmates, 65% of youth suicides, and 90% of homeless and runaway youth are from fatherless homes. However, the solution to fatherlessness isn’t simply fathers. Some fathers in the home can be just as damaging as absentee fathers. The solutions to the destruction of fatherlessness are present and good fathers, or at least, godly mentors.
At-risk youth who have had a mentor are 55% more likely to enroll in college, 46% less likely to use drugs, and 130% more likely to hold leadership positions. Studies show that fatherless children with good mentors outperform children from dysfunctional two-parent households. This is because fatherhood is more than sharing DNA with another person. In a sense, it’s more of a spiritual role than a biological reality. That’s why God the Father is a truer father to us Christians than our earthly fathers. It’s also why the Apostle Paul called Timothy, the young man he was mentoring, “my true child in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:2). Our society needs good fathers, but it needs good mentors too.
I was a fatherless, at-risk youth. I was on the same destructive path as many fatherless young people. I was a violent, aimless, high school dropout. However, I have become a writer, a public speaker, a husband, and a father of two boys. My former high school friends say they could never have predicted this. Even my mom says she’s surprised by how much I’ve exceeded her expectations.
My life has changed a lot from when I was an at-risk youth, but my fatherlessness didn’t change. I still don’t have a relationship with my father–he still hasn’t said a word to me since I was born. My fatherlessness is still with me, and my father still isn’t with me. However, two things happened that changed my life forever. By the grace of God, I turned away from my sins and believed in Jesus Christ. As a result, I became an adopted child of God which encourages me to understand that since God is my true father, in a sense, I am not truly fatherless.
Also, since I became a faithful member at a local church, some older men became my mentors. They invited me into their homes and taught me how to be a man. These men gave me advice on practical things like how to buy a car responsibly, how to pursue women honorably, and how to lead a home well. I can’t even begin to measure their impact on my life, and I feel like I owe every good thing in my life to them. One of these mentors even introduced me to my wife and helped me to become a writer. In fact, I’m writing these words in the middle of a two-week visit with one of these men. He told me many years ago that he wanted to be a father figure to me, and he’s kept his word. I’m grateful for that because even now, I still need good mentors.
Fatherlessness is devastating, but it doesn’t have to ruin a person’s life. Fatherlessness doesn’t have to be fatal because good mentors can reshape the lives of fatherless youth. That’s why ReWritten exists.